Light In My Pockets

There was a perfect moment when Andrew just came up to me today in the silence. I was sitting on the floor and he came to sit across from me. He gets these deep moments of clarity, where he seems very secure, centered and connected. He softly said "Mom.......look at me." I looked into his eyes; dark brown, wise and penetrating. He said very softly, slowly and succinctly "You are the rest of my life." It was an interesting and unusual sentence, but it makes sense that he would say it, considering where he came from. It's his way of telling me I'm the center of his life. He laid his head face down onto my lap, in a reverencial, devotional way while I stroked his hair and my stomach filled with warmth, tears filling my eyes. It's what I live for....those small, but very clear and beautiful moments that happen in between all the busy-ness of every day life. That is reality. It's where I go when things are crazy, uncentered and maddening- to those memories. I think of Andrew that way when I'm on my last nerve, or when I can't understand him. Those moments are like gems I carry around in my pockets.