Ramblings, Updates & Books

I'm finding that I go in and out of being shocked that we were led to Ethiopia of all places. Seriously, we never expected to adopt again, much less from Africa. We are so drawn to India, but to this day I'm amazed we were ever able to complete an adoption from that country! I still look at Andrew in awe of this and consider it a miracle. If we had it our way, we would have three Indian children, but the universe is teaching us a beautiful lesson in embracing the world family and not seeing divisions between races, religions and cultures. It's a very personal perspective I'm sharing, but it overwhelms me to the point of needing to write about it. When I get confused about Ethiopia (like I once was about being led to Guatemala) I go immediately in my mind to some great spiritual teachings about my 'world family'...not to mention how marvelous my Guatemalan child turned out to be; I cannot imagine having brought home any other child at that time. This Ethiopian child will bless us the same way, and I'm sure in some surprising ways that we can't even fathom right now.

We had a minor set back in our home study process and had to go to the police station to redo Sorin's fingerprint card. Apparently she has very oily palms which messed up the first set. I made her go to the bathroom and wash her hands with soap and then had her continuously dry her hands on paper towels while they took the prints. They had to redo all the prints, and then had to redo the thumb again, and placed an extra one on the back of the card just in case. She is a slippery girl! We've requested all the physician letters, but Sorin, Liam and Daniel have to be seen before their letters are completed (they haven't been to the doctor in over a year). Sorin and Liam will go together this Friday, and Daniel will be seen tomorrow. After that we're done with homestudy work! All we'll do is await the social worker visit and proceed to the dossier checklist.

It sounds crazy, but I'm looking forward to the 'waiting' stage so we can let go of all the paperwork. Waiting is hard....agony, I know. I just have a hard time with the organizational aspect of documents, paperwork, etc. It takes everything in me to focus and keep things orderly and I end up with headaches, so worried I'm forgetting something (and usually am). Two people we chose for our reference letters had to redo their notaries. We so appreciated how quickly they got on it for us, but it's little details like those that can drive a creative mind batty!

Speaking of creative, I'm finally working with determination to complete Andrew and Sky's life books. You'd think I would have had them done by now, but my overly perfectionistic ways have had me stumped. I'm putting way too much energy into the drawings and artwork. After seeing several examples of them at the social worker's office I felt ridiculous about all my excessive efforts. I know my kids will appreciate all the thoughtful drawings, but they need the books before they're 25! In both of their books I have their pre-America stories completed. So, moving ahead I can compile pages using computer photo images and type. I'll have their original books in a safe place, and a photocopied version they can look at daily and keep in their rooms. I figure with their sister coming (who will need her own book) I'd better get on the ball with this.

The social worker shared some amazing books with us. They were children's books about adoption, and I never would have thought to purchase them because some are about Russian adoption, Viet Namese, Chinese, and various unrelated countries. She explained that the benefit of children seeing adoptions from countries other than their own that they see children are adopted in many, many countries, not just their own. It's important that they know this. I used to seek Indian adoption books, Guatemalan adoption books, etc. and I was really limiting myself and my kids by doing that! Any and all adoption stories are helpful for our kids, and there are hundreds out there. It was helpful seeing and thumbing through the books our social worker had, and she had piles of them. So far we plan to purchase these:
"A Place in My Heart" by Mary Grossnickle. This is my favorite of all the books she had, about a squirrel family that adopts a chipmunk. It addresses just about every issue and question a child may have about adoption.
"We Wanted You" by Liz Rosenberg. About a dark skinned boy who is adopted
"Mr. Rogers- Let's Talk About It: Adoption" Fred Rogers. This is a sweet book for younger children, and it addresses adoption in a very sensitive thoughtful way. Andrew loves Mr. Rogers!
"When You Were Born in Vietnam" by Therese Bartlett. This is great for any adoptive child, with photos of a real child who lived in an orphanage, and his story of adoption...it's very much like a life book.
"How I Was Adopted" by Joanna Cole. This book has drawings of a pregnant woman and her uterus, and shows the baby growing inside. It's a great visual for kids who are ready to see how they physically came into the world.
"Families" by Susan Kuklin. This is a book of photos showing the diversity of different families, many multiracial.

The last book on the list makes me think of a short conversation I had with Andrew two days ago. He was saying that Sky and Daddy like a lot of the same things, like Chess and sports and football. I pointed out that he is a lot like me and how I was as a child- creative, funny, an artist, always working on a project and very lively. He smiled to know he had a parent with things in common, but he quickly said "But we don't have the same skin, Mom, so how can we really be alike?!" This stumped me because I was speaking internally while he was obviously focused outwardly (like most of our culture). I had to explain that our skin and bodies can look different on the outside, but we are the very same on the inside with feelings, love, thoughts, ideas, etc. I'm finding that I'm having to do this often with my kids- redirecting their thoughts inwardly, away from external appearances. This seems to be one of the great challenges of humanity.

Kawnzaa

7 Principles of Kwanzaa - unity, self-determination, cooperative economics, purpose, creativity, collective work and responsibility, and faith. Kwanzaa also involves a bit of ceremony and ritual. For every day of Kwanzaa, a candle is lit and a family or other group gathers around to discuss the principle of the day. Seven principles, seven days.

Other Families

Here are some other blogs below that I'm posting for our family members who may need to see other folks who've traveled successfully in their Ethiopian adoption processes. It's nice to see others who have been there, and we understand any and all worries our loving family may have. Please keep in mind that whichever of us travels will be escorted to and from the airport, and we'll stay at the House of Hope for meals and everything. Ethiopia also recently implemented a new law that prohibits adoptive parents from taking their children out into the community. We are required to stay with our daughter at the House of Hope full time and cannot leave the premises with her until we're ready to leave the country. Unless this law is changed or revised before we go, if we want to go anywhere our daughter will need nanny services.

This family just returned from Ethiopia this month with their gorgeous girl, Agnoti: http://familyofsixgoingtoethiopia.blogspot.com/

Here is another beautiful family of 5 (2 bio, 3 adopted): http://www.killeenteam7.blogspot.com/

You may be able to go back through the archives to find their travel details, but this little one os adorable: http://www.tnateam.blogspot.com/

A cutie! http://littlesilvestriboy.blogspot.com/

Here are some startling statistics on Ethiopia:

One out of every 20 children born alive die in their first month of life

One out of ten die before reaching their first birthday

One out of six die before reaching their fifth birthday

There are 4.6 million+ orphans in Ethiopia

The median age in Ethiopia is 18

1.5 million people in Ethiopia are infected with AIDS

Per capita, Ethiopia receives less aid than any country in Africa

New Years Ethiopian Dinner

I've been busy researching Ethiopian recipes to serve our children on New Year's Eve when we announce their new sister. I've posted the recipes we chose below, which look simple yet delicious ...We're salivating! The meal will include a vegetarian soup with injera. Injera bread seems to be the most popular staple in the Ethiopian diet and I hope we're able to make it fairly well. I was surprised to read that due to a long trade relationship with India, Ethiopians also consume samosas (a popular Indian recipe usually consisting of a pastry filled with potatoes or vegetables). Those little connections between cultures are dear to us.

After making a grocery list I'll be working on invitations to slide under each child's door while they are sleeping. Probably Tuesday evening.... they'll awaken with an invite to a "Special Ethiopian Dinner" and dance party. Daniel wants to film the moment we tell them...that should be interesting, and will be fun for our little girl to watch some day.

Vegetable Alecha (Vegetable Soup/Stew)
Yield: 8 portions
The Copts in Ethiopia have many fast days on which they are not permitted to eat meat. Vegetables Alechas and Wats are substituted on these days. (The Wat differs from the Alecha in that it is made with a spice called Ber-beri or Awaze.)

In a 4-quart saucepan: Sauté: 1 cup Bermuda Onions in 4 T Oil until soft but not brown. Add: 4 Carrots, peeled and cut in 1-inch slices 4 Green Peppers, cleaned and cut in quarters 3 cups Water 1 6-oz. can Tomato Sauce 2 t Salt ½ t Ground Ginger

Cook for 10 minutes covered. Add 4 Potatoes cut in thick slices. Plunge 2 Tomatoes in boiling water, remove skins, cut in 8 wedges each, and add to stew.
Cover and cook for 10 minutes. Add 8 Cabbage Wedges, 1 inch wide.
Sprinkle with Salt and Pepper. Cook until vegetables are tender. Correct the Seasoning. Place in an attractive bowl and portion out uniformly.

Injera (Bread)
This unleavened bread of Ethiopia is really a huge pancake made in special large pans with heavy covers. The combination of buckwheat flour mix and biscuit mix seems to produce the closest substitute for the sponginess of this Ethiopian bread.
25 min 5 min prep
SERVES 10
1 cup buckwheat pancake mix
1 cup Bisquick
1 tablespoon Canola oil
1 1/2-2 cups water

Combine all ingredients with just enoough water for an easy pouring consistency.
Bring a 10-inch skillet or a handled griddle pan to medium heat uniformly over the flame. Do not let the pan get too hot.
Spray skillet with cooking spray.
Fill a measuring cup (with spout) or a large cream pitcher with batter.
Pour the mixture on the hot pan or griddle in a thin stream starting from the outside and going in circles to the center from left to right. As soon as it bubbles uniformly all over remove from heat. Pancakes should be 9 inches in diameter.
Place the pan in an oven at 325 for about 1 minute until the top is dry but not brown.
Arrange the five pancakes overlapping each other so as to completely cover a fifteen-inch tray, thus forming the Injera "tablecloth.".

Details

Now that our whole family knows the news of our new "bun in the oven" so to speak, I thought I'd post some details for anyone who may be wondering:

Our adoption placement agency: Childrens Hope International based in St. Louis (they placed approximately 16 Ethiopian children with new families last month). Their Ethiopia program presently works with three orphanages.

Our Home Study agency is located locally in Overland Park, Kansas: Adoption & Counseling Services for Families. The social worker has been in business for over twenty years.

Present status: Our exact stage is primitive at this point. We've completed almost all the paperwork for the home study, but need to redo Sorin's fingerprint card at the police station, get doctor letters for each family member, and a financial statement completed. After all those are received our social worker will visit our home so she can complete the study.

Next:
-We will take the completed home study to the local USCIS immigration office to get approval to adopt an Ethiopian child.
-Compile Dossier documents (some of which will be taken from the home study, and includes the home study).
-All our documents will be sent to the placement agency (CHI) for review and then sent to our State capitol to authenticate all the notaries.
-Then the documents are sent to Washington DC to authenticate the State's authentications.

-After that is done I'm told our dossier will sit with our agency until they receive a referral from one of their partner orphanages that matches the age and gender we are requesting. This is the long waiting stage. There is a waiting list of families, however the order is almost meaningless because each family is different (some requesting siblings, younger or older age ranges, etc). It's whatever fits and the timing. Right now, waiting time for referral is as short as 2 months to 9 months.

-When we get our referral we will see her picture, medical history and any other information they have on her.
-We accept, and then wait for a court date to receive full custody of the child.
-We travel within 2-3 months of receiving the referral.

Travel: Only one of us will travel this time, due to alleviating stress on Sky (he had such a hard time when we were in India). We haven't decided who will travel yet because we're looking for a travel companion (we don't want either of us to go alone). Anyone interested, please let us know...all travel expenses will be paid for by us, of course. The stay will be 5-7 days at the House of Hope in Addis Ababa. We will be accompanied from the airport to the guest house, and again back to the airport. At no time would we leave the guest house unaccompanied by a guide. The House of Hope is a transition home for orphans who have been placed with families and are waiting to go home.

If anyone has other questions I didn't answer here, please ask away.

Homestudy Nearing Completion

After spending nearly three hours with our social worker at the home study agency (Adoption & Counseling Services for Families) we feel more educated and swamped in pamphlets than ever before. She works out of her home in a suburb of Kansas City and is basically a 1-woman show. She's been working in this field for over twenty years, and I have to say she was more helpful, professional, and informative than any adoption agency we've encountered. She spent the first hour educating us about everything from attachment, to children's books on adoption to how to speak to our kids about adoption. I felt almost like I had gone to one of the most helpful seminars or therapy sessions. That is how adoption agencies should be, but in my experience they haven't been. Previously, we sat down for 30-40 minutes during our first visit, signed a contract, and wrote a check while they handed us a list of helpful books and references. There was no discussion, just information to look at if we desired. I am so impressed by this woman- her agency deals primarily in domestic adoption so she counsels birth mothers. This gives her a well rounded perspective. She's done countless homestudies for international adoptions, and was so knowledgable about the issues our kids may have or encounter later in life. She gave us a lot of food for thought.

We both left the meeting feeling 100% positive that we're sticking with Ethiopia. During the social worker's explanation of domestic adoption I couldn't help feeling a loud "Noooooooo!" rumbling from my core. It all felt completely wrong somehow and I still can't pin point why. All we do know is that we want all three of our adoptive children to be in the same boat, so to speak. We don't want Andrew, with absolutely nothing on his birth family, and Sky with very little ability to contact anyone in his, with an adopted sibling who knows their birth mother and may even see her from time to time. On one hand this could be positive (seeing a birth mother who cares and is loving with our whole family), but there are a whole plethora of things that make it uncomfortable for us, like potential resentment, discomfort for Sky & Drew. We also love international adoption in general... it's what we're called to most strongly, for whatever reason. We have to listen to that voice inside.

We initially desired to adopt from India again. With our strong spiritual roots there it just seems the most natural thing to do. But after a few knocks on several doors it was clearly not going to happen again. I'd inquired about two waiting children in Delhi only to discover they had a judge who wasn't hearing cases from families with even 1 child already in the home. The orphanages wouldn't even consider us with four kids. Then there was a child in Mumbai, but the orphanage required that a new child be younger than our youngest child....that didn't work. There are many court issues with judges, along with the fact that India just became a Hague country, complicating adoption even more until they get that process ironed out. We found a baby girl in Haiti we inquired about, only to discover Haitian adoptions can take up to 2-3 years, not to mention travel there is quite risky. Ethiopia became a tempting and beautiful option when we researched the almost streamlined process and efficient timelines. I'm not expecting a completely smooth road, but it is far more appealing than the other options at this point.

Daniel is completely smitten/head over heels with the idea of an African daughter. He has always admired the beauty of African children....they do have an undeniable glow about them! We just cannot wait to finally have our dossier completed and receive that call and photo of our little girl. After talking with the social worker, we've decided to share the news with our kids over the Holiday break. Probably around the New Year. She raised points about the kids needing time to adjust to the idea. If we wait for the photo, we'll travel within 2 months or so and that's awfully sudden for them.

The social worker also gave us a lot of advice I'm taking to heart, and implementing asap. She told us that one mom who adopted 3 children internationally had only one thing she would have done differently after her kids had grown. She said she would have not only pointed out and celebrated her children's cultures, but she would have embraced them as part of her own. She would have made them part of her very self, as things she loved personally and not just because they were her children's birth countries. This really affected me because I have no trouble doing that with India....I always did, prior to Andrew coming home, embrace that country because of my spiritual roots. I don't listen to Indian music or eat the food because of Andrew, I do it because I love it myself. I need to work on that more with Central America for Sky. Right now I have one Spanish CD that I love (I love Spanish guitar & singing), and we LOVE our Central American restaurant here, La Parilla (I think it's our favorite). I need to do more, though, to make it more a part of my very self. I wonder if Frida Khalo counts? Mexico is Latin America after all. We'll have to keep focusing on that, and make it clear to Sky that "We" love these things, and not because of him. GREAT ADVICE that I feel blessed to have received.

One Little Step At a Time

We have an appointment next week to see our social worker at the local homestudy agency. It seems we've gotten almost everything together for the homestudy, and we're ready to sit down for 2 hours to talk with her and then schedule a home visit. I can't imagine what we'll talk about for two hours, other than go over paperwork and other details. We're still very set on Ethiopia, but realize we need to listen to our social worker's explanation of domestic adoption before we know exactly where we're headed. We know firsthand how "our plans" are often a complete joke to the Universe, so we're open to anything.

Meanwhile, Daniel's business has picked up drastically. We are so relieved, but also realize this could taper off again at any moment (a downfall of self employment). I've begun child care in my home today for an infant girl and will be putting every dime toward adoption costs. I feel so blessed to be able to do this, as it takes a lot of the burden of adoption expenses off Daniel's shoulders. Little Cecilia, almost 4 months old, was so good for me today that I hardly see it as work :-)

Update

We're finally seeing some pogress in this long paperwork process. I was sitting down trying to recall all the paperwork I completed or Andrew's adoption in August-September of 2006. I tried remembering how agonizing it was, or how tedious and I don't remember that. Although I know it was just as terrible. I remember sitting in the dining room with papers strewn across the table, typing and organizing with a sense of urgency because he was 6 years old. That's all I have in my memory bank, and I'm sure it will be the same with this adoption. All the pain and anguish of compiling documents and keeping so many annoying details straight won't even be a distant memory....it all vanishes once your child is home.

We are very close to having all our homestudy paperwork completed. We did our police fingerprinting today (with Sorin) and those will be sent off to the Kansas Bureau of Investigations for clearance. All that remains are physicians letters, and a household income & expense statement we draw up ourselves. We'll have a meeting with the social worker in a week or two to go over everything.

Our social worker at the homestudy agency facilitates a lot of domestic infant adoption. She has offered to explain that process to us, and has shared that the process is far less difficult and often faster than international adoption. This is an option that Daniel and I never really considered, but with the economic crisis causing many international adoption agencies to close down we're leary and a bit nervous. I read somewhere that between 1/3-1/2 of all agencies are likely to go under within the next 6 months. What if this happened with our International adoption agency after we paid all those up front fees? Anyway, we're looking into every option for now prior to deciding what we'll do.

I was interviewed last evening by a wonderful couple for my child care services. I'm praying they hire me. All went great, and their 3 1/2 month old little girl is absolutely adorable. I got the sense they wanted to hire me on the spot after telling them I'm willing to use their cloth diapers! Doesn't bother me in the slightest. I have two other local families interested and I'll have interviews set up with them this week. I know that I'll watch no more than 2 at a time, and I think the second child will be a part time thing (maybe 4 hours a day). I got to hold the baby last evening and my whole body melted into a warm ooze. There is something very spiritual about infants...they're still so present in a whole other realm and it's calming to me. I will get my fix of baby ooze, and at the same time I hope to contribute substantially to our adoption fees.

Paperwork & Fundraising

It's been a week of realizing how much the slowing economy is affecting us. We're currently a single-income family, and Daniel is self-employed. He relies on phone calls from people who have the funds to pay for services. This has finally begun to slow down and we're feeling the pinch. It could be a typical holiday lag, which we have seen in the past, but whatever the case it's probably a blessing because it's gotten us motivated on our fundraising efforts. In just 24 hours I raised over $340.00 selling Andrew's homeschooling materials. I almost fell to my knees in gratitude because it covers a large portion of our next fee to the agency. Every dollar helps immensely!

This morning I placed an offer of childcare services on Craigslist, and hope to have two infants between 0-18 months old in my home on weekdays. This will be a great fundraising activity, and I'll sharpen up my old infant care skills for our little one. I absolutely adore babies and have a good feeling about this. I'll do almost anything to make sure we get this last adoption of ours accomplished, and hopefully have some fun, enriching experiences along the way.

Meanwhile, I'm shipping all the homeschool materials out today with so much gratitude for the sales. And I'm typing out all the dossier paperwork we'll be getting notarized after the holiday. We have to take our oldest, Sorin, to get fingerprinted since she's 17. This is awkward because I honestly don't know how to explain this to her when we're keeping the adoption under wraps until we get a referral. It's tricky, indeed! I've already told her it's for "adoption", and she automatically assumed it was for finalization of Andrew Prasad's....this may work a while, but I fear her discovering too early and spilling to beans to the younger kids. I don't want them going through an agonizing wait that will feel more like an eternity to them. I will be so relieved when we do have the referral and can share the news with everyone in a very special way.

I've thought a great deal about how to break the news. I spoke with other parents and they had great ideas, like placing little invitations to a 'special dinner' in their backpacks, and having pink and brown balloons and a yummy Ethiopian dish served. We'd spill the beans, then and show her photo, and have a memorable night of dancing afterward (one of our favorite family activities). No matter what we decide, it will be quite memorable.

Thoughts & Happenings

Ethiopia's Blue Nile crashing over the lush forest of the Northwest area. (click to enlarge-- beautiful!)

Daniel and I just sent four letters to friends, and one to his mom requesting reference letters for our dossier and homestudy. They have all been asked to keep quiet about our plans until we tell our children. I am not ready for that at this point. #1- Andrew and Sky will discuss it obsessively, repeatedly, and the wait will be more agonizing on them if they're told this early, and #2- Sorin has trouble making these types of huge adjustments in her mind (she already says we have'enough' children). Sorin said we had enough when it was just her and Liam, and she said it again when we added Sky, and again after Andrew entered the fam. On top of that, she has stated many times that she likes being my only 'daughter' in a family of three boys. Her and I have kind of hung closely together in the sea of men these days! By the same token, I think once it settles in to her mind she will be thrilled to be adding a little girl to our family.

We've been struggling to iron out details regarding Daniel's income statement. He's self-employed and absolutely needs to provide some proof of employment. This is difficult when you are your own boss, and the only employee. His accountant will be drawing up a letter with stated income, and projected income and we hope this will suffice. We've been assigned our adoption coordinator who is going to be working with us throughout the entire adoption process. She's been very helpful so far. Their fees are going up in January, but we luckily made the cutoff date by submitting our application earlier. I thank God for this with all the fundraising we already have to do in the next few months. It really is going to be a mountain to climb over the next few months, and I'm racking my brain to devise new ways to raise money. With Andrew back in public school it's my new job!

Meanwhile, Daniel and I have been dropping strange and funny hints around to the younger kids about a 'sister in Africa'. Months ago I started saying for fun that I had a baby in my belly, and named her Virginia (a joke, of course). When we put all the kids to bed, Daniel and I always said, "Oh, we'd better tuck little Virginia in!" We called her Virginia because our Chihuahua, Boomer, was from Virginia and the name was just floating around out there. Sky has enjoyed it, and it's become a playful joke. Last month when I was saying goodnight to Sky he said "Why can't I have a real baby sister, Mommy?" This was asked after Daniel and I had already decided to adopt again, so I was a bit floored. I said, "Hmmm, I don't know. Would you like that?" He insisted he would, and started begging to have her in my belly. Now, we have been saying "Oh, I think Virginia is waiting for us in Africa. She's not in Mommy's tummy, she's in our hearts and she's calling us." Of course, it's still just playful talk....they have no idea that their sister is really coming home one of these days. Daniel made up a song about her to Andrew and he looked so confused...."Who is this African baby, and why is she in Africa anyway?!" I told him babies come from all over the world, in all different ways. I said "Maybe she's calling to us the way you and Sky did. Maybe God wants to bring her home, too. What do you think?" And Drew just scrunches his face, "Are you for real?" I never say "No" because I don't want to lie....I just smile and start tickling him. They both think we're just playing around, but over time the idea of a sister will gel in their minds. Andrew has asked for a baby since the day he came home....we just have to think of a very special way to reveal the secret to all of them.

I'm off to type more documents today!

Paperwork Begins

Lots of paperwork is going on today. This beginning, pre-embryonic stage of adoption is tedious. I'm gathering our family's birth certificates, marriage license, tax records, monthly budget list, child abuse clearances, and so, so much more for both the dossier and homestudy. My dining table looks a bit like Daniel's office! It's chaotic, but there is an order to it all. I keep worrying about spills, animals knocking things down, or mischievous children taking pages for scribbling. I'm also going to great lengths to keep our oldest, Sorin, from seeing the papers that mention Ethiopia or adoption in general. All this secrecy is a bit fun (appeals to my trickster side), but it also requires work! We're keeping this adoption under wraps until we feel ready to reveal it in a very special way to our extended family. I'm keeping this blog as a private log for now. I'm so eager to share the news, and will be bursting to tell everyone the moment we see our sweet girl's gorgeous, tiny face. There's something sweet about carrying this secret around in our giddy hearts.

Meanwhile, I have to decide which friends we entrust to write referral letters and keep the news private. It's a difficult decision because some know my family members, and we'll be asking a lot of them to stay mute. It's not like I'm physically pregnant and have the luxury of waiting 6-8 months to say anything-- we need referral letters before we are placed with our child.

I find myself imagining the house and how we want it when "she" arrives. We would like the basement work totally finished (flooring and moulding), our room needs a space for her mini crib, and so much needs to be done to baby proof the house. I'm simplifying over the next few months; clearing out even more unwanted, unnecessary posessions, nesting, organizing, and gearing our lives up to welcome more love and joy. It's all a labor of love that I feel so honored to be a part of in this life. Quietly, Daniel and I call her Ella. Whether this will be the name we choose for her, or if she has a name that already feels right, this is the name we use for now. Ella has many meanings, one is "All" and others are "Goddess", "Beautiful Fairy Woman" and "Torch". We just love the sound of it, but it's a mystery at this point until we see her face.

Here We Are!

YES. We are adopting our fifth child. Believe me, I am as stumped and bewildered as anyone who may know me. But as wild as we may be, we're even more inspired by the idea of bringing a beautiful Ethiopian child into the mix of our diverse and lively family. This blog is created separately from our main family blog so we can devote specific attention to our 3rd, and likely final adoption journey. For those who don't know, our main blog address is http://www.yogini-christine.blogspot.com/. Here we will record our journey to our daughter, from beginning to the day that we hold her in our arms.

At my age I never imagined I would have another child, and I certainly have my hands full with the four who grace our lives now. For some odd reason, Daniel and I have been toying with the idea of a daughter off and on until finally it became an intense tug at my heart. I am not one of those adoptive moms who has been trying fertility treatments, trying desperately to have a child, in mid-life crisis, or have a hole to fill. I am a devoted, fulfilled woman who feels called to raise these amazing children I have now. They have been my passion, and I surprisingly feel another soul calling me.... Every attempt to supress or eliminate the drive to bring her home only brings it more strongly into view. Unless someone has adopted a child it may be difficult to understand this, but it's a very real, intuitive sense that someone is near you, needing you, somewhere.

Anyway, like another adoptive parent said after adopting a set of three from Russia, then three from Ethiopia, and are awaiting their next three "My life is not my own." She is a stay at home mom, and her husband is a school teacher. They have inspired me to loosen up about numbers, quantities, money worries, etc. and focus upon the quality of my life and what I can do to truly serve and make a difference in whatever ways I feel nudged to. My life really doesn't belong to me, and nothing in this life does. There is always something greater guiding me, and I have never regretted following that little inner voice even though at times I think it's completely nuts (I'm usually wrong about that). I feel so much joy upon waking every day, knowing that I can bring smiles to my children's faces and transmit love that will shine from them long after I'm gone. I'm wildly, madly in love with my life and it just keeps getting better.

As for our process, we received approval from our agency, Children's Hope International, to adopt a female child 0-2 years old from Ethiopia. The next steps involve our homestudy, dossier preparation (lots of paperwork!), and USCIS immigration petition to adopt a foreign orphan. All this will take 2-3 months, then our dossier gets sent over to Ethiopia and we await a referral. This can take 1-6 months, and after acceptance of a referral we travel in 1-2 months. Ethiopia is fairly streamlined in its process, and the fees are less than most countries. We investigated India and hit walls at every turn this time, and Guatemala is still closed to international adoptions. So, here we are!

The most interesting aspect of this process so far has been the timing of our approval date. We received the happy phone call on the very day that the first African American President was voted into office. It was beautifully eerie that day to be so euphoric for Obama, our country, AND our approval to adopt and African little girl. Aaaah, the subtle coincidences that many of us take for granted...