Quiet Weekend of Disbelief

It's been a very long time since Daniel and I have had a quiet, 2 kid weekend. Sorin and Liam went to their dad's this afternoon and the house feels a little sad and empty, but at the same time we can let our shoulders down and breathe. Since Summer school let out, Liam has been temperamental and restless lately. It seems like he's climbing the walls, even though we have workers come over and take him on outings for 3 hours a day. The monotony and boredom of Summer is getting to him and I know he'll be thrilled when school starts up in August. It takes a lot out of me when Liam isn't happy....maintaining his routine is vital, and if he's not happy no one in this house is. I'm hoping he enjoys the time with his dad (he usually does). He loves adventures and outings.

The quiet has me realizing that the news of passing Court hasn't settled in. I feel kind of numb, as if it never happened and we still have months and months before we ever see Amelie. Then I have tiny moments of clarity- I FEEL and KNOW that there is a baby girl in Africa with our last name and she's adorable and perfect, and I'll hold her very soon. Emotions come up every time I taste that reality. It's going to be overwhelming to meet and hold this child who has been calling to me since the day she was born. I almost can't allow it to sink in because of how profound it is. A little at a time I will shift from uncertainty to knowing....or maybe it will hit me over the head like a huge "Aha!!!" Either way, that's when I'll be kicking into gear for travel preparations...not now while it's completely unbelievable.