Quiet Family Vigil

I have been connecting more deeply with an inner source of comfort these days, and I am reminded of how wealthy I am to have that...it is the most true form of wealth I have ever known. Our guru's teachings and my personal relationship with him have sustained me through so much and I know I can handle anything because of it.

We should be ecstatic and cheering about the idea of just 4 days until court. Instead we are experiencing the agonizing "unknown." It's a scary sort of limbo until we hear something certain from our agency. They are doing everything possible to ensure we either get through court with our MOWA letter Tuesday, or at least get assigned a court date that is before the court closure which begins August 6th and lasts two months. If we get assigned a new court date after the closure we won't see Amelie until November. Anything could happen- one of three outcomes 1) get through court Tuesday, 2) get assigned a new court date before closure, or 3) get assigned a new court date for October. Two out of three hopeful possibilities isn't bad.... with all of them we will have Amelie home this year.

We're holding a quiet tone in our home today and all through the weekend, lighting candles on our altar and next to Amelie's picture, setting statues of Ganesha around the house (the elephant diety representing removal of obstacles), praying and praying and praying while breathing and trying to let go. I pray for the best possible outcome for all involved....this includes all families needing to pass court prior to closure, all the people at the orphanage who work so hard to take care of and place our children, all the court staff, the hard working people at MOWA, our agency director, our Ethiopian attorney, and the waiting children. We'll be praying for the strength to handle and accept any outcome with grace. I'll admit this is very hard to do...to prepare for something so deeply disappointing. The idea of not seeing Amelie learn to walk, start teething, etc. The idea of bringing home a toddler instead of an infant requires a major shift. We're not giving up our hope and optimism. Andrew is sitting in prayerful chant now, singing "Om Namo Bagavate Vasudevaya" for Amelie, knowing he will hold her...whether it's in two or four months he knows she will be here no matter the outcome. In a simplified nutshell, the chant means "Thy will be done, not mine."