Notes About Liam

A few people have been inquiring about Liam. I write so much about my two youngest kids that it's understandable. He's always here, in the background of our vibrant family just smiling, humming, skipping and dancing. He's been a quiet witness to so much. We call him the great angel and catalyst of our family.

Liam just completed 8th grade. For those who don't know him, he has moderate to severe autism. He's non-verbal and communicates through gestures, signs and vocalizations. He's 14, but is the size of a typical 5th grader. He has an angelic and sweet nature, so he doesn't carry with him the same type of testosterone levels I see in my younger two boys. He's without an ego, gentle and joyful, and has never hurt a flea. The only time he's unhappy is when he can't seem to get his needs or desires communicated (which happens at least once a day).

History: When Liam was born he was beautiful and radiant. He had a glowing aura around him. And unlike his sister, he was a very calm and peaceful baby. His eye contact was amazing, and I remember lying in the bed with him, face to face, as he gazed into my eyes for long periods; peering into each others souls. He smiled at us, laughed and vocalized. He had a few words by the age of one, and pointed at things that interested him. He sat up on his own at the normal age, but didn't walk on his own until he was about 19 months. When he was about 15 months we noticed he wasn't using words any more, and had never played with objects or toys. He also wasn't feeding himself. After getting an MRI done on his brain they told me it appeared normal in every way, except for a slightly smaller corpus colossum (the area at center of the brain responsible for conveying messages between the left and right hemispheres). I was told by the pediatrician that it was very likely he may never feed himself, never walk or talk, and never show normal interaction with people. I went through a few years of complete devasatation and grief.

He has fed himself independently since age 2, and as I said he did start walking and hasn't stopped since. He loves interacting with family and peers- he prefers tickles and high-fives. He loves trampolines, and is the most muscular person we know...he has wash board abs! The main thing he hasn't conquered is speech, but he makes up for it with facial expressions, gestures, etc. With Liam I have learned to connect on a whole other level....it feels like a more advanced level of communication, not an inferior one.

Activities: He spends his day viewing his large DVD collection and listening to music. his favorite tunes are the Beatles and Enya. He also loves many of the Indian mantra CD's we have, and appears to fall into a trance like state very naturally. He was diagnosed with manic-bi polar disorder at age nine and it was a tremendous relief. We finally found the appropriate treatment for many sleepless nights and severe mood swings. Medication has been a tremendous blessing for him and our family. He loves getting deep pressure massages. He's good at attending music concerts and assemblies at his school. His favorite activity is swimming, and he can swim 27 laps at the local pool. Someone asked me if he was "into sports" and because of that I'd say yes, however not in a competitive way. Liam is all about having fun.

Favorite Foods: Liam is funny about food. He prefers salads complete with peppers, cucumber, carrots, chick peas, mushrooms, tomatoes and NO salad dressing. He prefers greens over just about anything. He doesn't care much for meat, breads or pastas. He loves spicy foods (it's a sensory thing) so he goes for pickles, sweet & hot peppers. A plate full of fresh veggies and salty chips is heaven to Liam.

School: Liam's receptive language is excellent, and he can follow both one and two-part directions. At school they're working on many areas to help Liam become as independent as possible. Here are just a few:

• pouring liquids
• stirring
• Baking
• Cooperating with peer
• Cutting with a knife
• Loading and unloading the dishwasher
• delivering mail throughout the school
• toothbrushing
• dressing
• Taking long walks
• Socialization
• Participating in physical education

The main thing I like to share about having Liam in my life is the fact that he has propelled me to do almost everything I have done in the last 9-10 years. After recovering from the grief and sadness of the diagnosis I felt determined to show him and our family that life is still as beautiful and rich and full as ever. I have never asked "why me" or "why Liam?" As a severely shy and quiet individual, he forced me to find my voice. Because if this, there is such an irony in his lack of speech! Because of Liam I felt compelled to have more children; he has welcomed each new child with grace and a smile. As the family "catalyst" he has done more good for us than anything imaginable. My relationship with the Divine has been deepened and strengthened by his presence. He has served me that way and I feel indebted. With all his difficulties and challenges he wakes up with joy, shares his joy with others and has a lighthearted nature that inspires me every day. I swear he knows a secret about our existence that we'd all benefit from.

It's an honor to serve you as your Mommy in this life, Liam! THANK YOU