It was a wild weekend with all four kids at home and minimal homecare support for Liam. Long story, but we're training someone new and transitioning someone else out so we couldn't use up many hours over the weekend. We had our usual "date night" on Saturday evening and some help Sunday morning.Liam and Andrew started Summer School today. They're gone from 7:30am until 12:30pm M-Th, so it's been a nice respite in this quiet house today. Recovery time for Mama! Andrew was so nervous this morning he awoke at 5:30am and thought it was time to leave. After that he was spastic with worry, and by the time Daniel got him to school he was almost in tears. It's not the same school building he's accustomed to, and he never takes to change well....it will be a week or so before he warms up to the whole routine. Liam, on the other hand, was thrilled beyond belief to see his bus this morning. He stepped out with his backpack and swim bag in tow, and his smile from ear to ear as he greeted the new bus driver.
I didn't want to point it out again (I'm trying so hard to put it out of my mind), but today marks 5 weeks that we've awaited news of a court date. We're in "limbo-land" and I'll admit I have started waffling from deep patience and calmness to complete frustration. I can't help thinking about how nice it will be to have a time-frame to go on regarding an estimated travel date....I pray that we, along with several other families awaiting news, will get our court dates VERY soon.
The wait seems to be getting more difficult for me emotionally. I know Amelie is being well cared for, but it's still not a home environment...it's not her family. I was stricken the other night with a very real sensation of exactly how she would feel if I picked her up with my hands under her armpits. I could really "feel" her little bones (shoulders and ribs), I could see her tiny face which was much smaller than I expected. Her whole body is smaller than I imagined and the sensation of how she feels is still with me. It's very real. She is a tiny and very beautiful little thing...she needs me and I can feel that more deeply. It tugs at me from the moment I wake up and look at her photograph in the mornings, until I fall asleep at night. I'm grateful for the sensations of holding her, but it's making the wait more difficult..... I'm so glad Mama DeZutti will be leaving for Toukoul in just 5 days! I'm not only dying to hear her description of my little Goddess, but in just one week her longing to hold Sammy will come to an end and I am able to revel in her joy!
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