This waiting really stinks. I must be into torture or something...what was I thinking? Seriously, after two international adoptions I have no experience with this sort of madness. Andrew Prasad and Sky were both on Waiting Children lists and we started out the process with their pictures and information, knowing they were being cared for. This is a whole new place for us, to be already attached to a faceless little girl and not know her present circumstance. Is she in good hands now or suffering somewhere? It's a cloud of mystery I carry around in my heart and I had no idea how hard it would become. I always watched parents awaiting referrals over the years and wondered how on earth they managed it. I sat with my waiting children's photos and paperwork from day 1 and believed deep down that I could never make it with the grace and patience they had.Daniel's optimistic and hopeful 4 week prediction has come and gone, and now he's hoping for a birthday surprise the 21st. That will be at about the 7 week mark, which is possible but I'm not able to affirm it will happen (he's still positive). My positive spirits seem to be cowering somewhere and I'm bracing myself for a couple more months wait. Depressed, no way, just suddenly needing to be a realist to save my sanity! Me a realist?! What's happening to me? I need to tell that part of myself that anything is possible, and the reality is that no one knows anything. 4 weeks, 5 weeks, 10 weeks, 16 weeks? No matter what I trust we'll have Amelie home for Thanksgiving this year, and I may be muddled in tears on that day. Last Thanksgiving Daniel and I looked at each other and said confidently "Next year on this day we'll have our new daughter with us." It will be the most thanks-filled Thanksgiving of our lives.
5 comments:
Hi Christine, Just found your blog on the AA Yahoo group. We are using the same agency. Waiting is so hard and I know how you feel, wondering where your daughter-to-be is and what she is experiencing? When you know who she is, you know at least that she is safe and cared for in Toukoul. The whole thing is so emotional. I look forward to hearing about your referral. Our daughters are probably hanging out together right now.
Christine,
Our wait for Samedh's referral was 11 months, and it was agonizing. He wasn't even born yet during our first few months of waiting, but we had no idea at that time. Your wait will be nowhere near that long, but I certainly understand what you're going through. For me, the hardest part was waiting before the referral. For Pankaj, he had a difficult time between referral acceptance & travel. I'm praying that you have some news by Mother's Day, if not before. And I'm still checking your blog a couple times per day hoping I'll be one of the first to celebrate your good news with you!
I appreciate the kind thoughts conveyed. I feel very selfish being so impatient when there are families who have waited so much longer. I need to count my blessings and thank Heaven we found an agency that works with a very large orphanage. The referral is right around the corner, so I need to snap out of it. I think I need to get busier with my time!
Hi Christine! We are another CHI to AA transfer family. I just found your blog and I am loving it! It will take me a bit to catch up on your back story- but I can guarantee that you will be happy that you made the switch! Radu runs a great agency! Congrats on taking the plunge!
Colleen
We did not adopt our daughter off a waiting child list, but fortunately, we only had to wait 3 weeks for her referral. Unfortunately though, we then had to watch her grow up through pictures for another 9 1/2 months. That was very difficult.
This time, the process is going to be different for me as well. What I do know is that all the waiting will be worth it in the end and we'll somehow end up with the child that is a perfect fit into our family. The same will happen for you too.
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