A Blog That = Smiles

I wanted to post a link to a new blog entry I found today. Little Amari caught my eye because she's from Ethiopia, and when Sky saw the video post he almost fell into tears over her. He said "Oh Mommy, I just want to hold her, why can't we hold Amelie now." He collapsed into my lap and said "If we had Amelie in front of us right now we'd all be screaming! Oh I can't stand this, Mommy." His complete agony was palpable. I'm realizing the wait is going to be very hard on him once we receive her photo.

Amari helped us feel a tiny bit closer to Amelie today. We thank Amari and Jill for sharing their first year of joys with us.

New Guesstimate

Daniel just called and said he read our blog post that included his prediction of 7 weeks until Amelie's referral. He firmly, and with great confidence said he wants to change it to 4 weeks. I don't have the desire or courage to set myself up like that (for disappointment in two weeks), but I do hope he's right. The fastest one I heard about through our agency was 5 weeks, so it would be a record. I'd say it's unlikely, but who am I to question something completely out of our hands?

Okay, so Daniel says 4 weeks (around April 2), and I'm still at about 8 weeks (more like 7 1/2, around April 27th). I can just feel the Gods, Universe, Divine Mother, etc. chuckling at our attempts to predict something that is completely out of our meager human hands. Some day soon (very soon) we'll be reading these ponders in retrospect, and getting a walloping kick out of them! Anyone else dare to toss a guess?

Dragon Capes

I'm finding it challenging today to squeeze the time in for sewing. Like I said earlier, I'm hoping to make these capes for Andrew and Sky.... it's cotton fabric I found at Christmas time (they were supposed to be one of their presents) and I just became overwhelmed with the holidays. Yes, one of my many "unfinished projects"! I'm getting to each one these days, checking them off my mental list before Amelie comes home. Andrew and Sky are both thrilled after looking at the fabrics today....Andrew's likes the blue dragons, while Sky wants the gold. Andrew is obsessed with dragons, always has been since coming home (he says they protect him). And what is it with boys and capes? They're always a hit, and they can never have too many of them.

Sitting Alone

We all wanted to share that baby Cecilia (who we care for on weekdays) is sitting up unassisted now. She turned 7 months on the 17th. When she came over Monday morning I sat her on the floor and was able to walk away while she sat and played independently for almost an hour (squealing with delight). The boys came downstairs in amazement to see her just sitting there. It was as if they wanted to throw a party! She herself is very happy about it, and it's just a matter of time until she's scooting/crawling around the house. I've been watching her since December, and it's been such fun to watch her grow and develop. Sky keeps saying almost every day "Just color her skin brown, give her dark eyes with curls and we can imagine our Amelie, Mommy!" We're all quite attached to Ceci.

Week #2

We've already hit week number 2 since sending the dossier! By now we're assuming our dossier has made its way through the Washington DC authentication process, and sits at the Ethiopian embassy. We're hoping to hear from our agency soon about the status.

I'm in the process of looking at various booster seats. The 7 month old infant I care for during the day could use one, and I know Amelie will use it as well. I think we've picked out Amelie's portable crib for our room, but I narrowed it down to two and just haven't decided yet. It may be something we wait on purchasing until we see her face and know her age. Shopping is not my 'bag' and I just don't get much thrill from it. I'm looking more forward to the fabric stores and making her toys, blankets, and purging our home to make room for her both spatially and energetically.

I have a couple of matching dragon capes I'm making for Andrew and Sky today while Daniel has a very long day at work (9:00am-7:00pm). Daniel worked Monday, but had Tuesday and Wednesday at home . It was like a mini-vacation, so we're all a bit disoriented from that and Spring Break. Daniel and I talked yesterday and I asked him when he thinks our referral will come...he thinks at the 7 week mark, and I said closer to 8. I'm hoping he's right, or even sooner! Here's to time flying!

Light In My Pockets

There was a perfect moment when Andrew just came up to me today in the silence. I was sitting on the floor and he came to sit across from me. He gets these deep moments of clarity, where he seems very secure, centered and connected. He softly said "Mom.......look at me." I looked into his eyes; dark brown, wise and penetrating. He said very softly, slowly and succinctly "You are the rest of my life." It was an interesting and unusual sentence, but it makes sense that he would say it, considering where he came from. It's his way of telling me I'm the center of his life. He laid his head face down onto my lap, in a reverencial, devotional way while I stroked his hair and my stomach filled with warmth, tears filling my eyes. It's what I live for....those small, but very clear and beautiful moments that happen in between all the busy-ness of every day life. That is reality. It's where I go when things are crazy, uncentered and maddening- to those memories. I think of Andrew that way when I'm on my last nerve, or when I can't understand him. Those moments are like gems I carry around in my pockets.

Spring Break

With all the kids home for Spring Break it has been nearly impossible to post online. Andrew, Cecilia and I just picked up Sorin from an all day camp, so now it's a full house. Sorin will be finishing up a float tomorrow so she can participate in the St. Patrick's Day parade. We all plan to walk downtown and see it together. Liam has no supportive care workers for today, but they will begin tomorrow and he's hanging in there very well these days. No cabin fever yet!

As crazy-busy as I've been with the usual "Mom duties" and four+ kids at home, it's really been a quiet and uneventful break (so far). I'm always amazed at how quiet my house can get, despite the number of children here. I've had a hypnotic "Wah!" CD playing soothing mantras all day while Andrew and Sky interact and play at 1/2 hour intervals. They do 1/2 hour on, and 1/2 hour separated; it seems to be working very well. Not to mention Andrew's medication has been doing wonders lately. He's less irritable about things, not as hard on himself, and when he does get upset it doesn't last long. Sky has been thrilled most of all because he's been able to carry on regular conversations with his brother, and they even had three rounds of Chutes & Ladders together yesterday (this is truly a miracle). Usually they are frustrated and and about to strangle each other! Admittedly, Daniel and I couldn't be happier to have Andrew following directions, being less impulsive, etc. Our family dinners have been so enjoyable this last week! We're knocking on wood, hoping it continues.

And the clock keeps ticking on Amelie as we get closer to the referral. We're aware of this, but I'm noticing how fast time is flying by. I'm grateful for the busy life we have and the children that already grace us every day. We talk about Amelie several times a day...it's becoming a past time we all love, pondering together what her nose will be like, how her laugh will sound, how tight her curls will be, whether she'll be walking already and if she does what she'll be getting in to, wondering what will make us laugh about her. There are a zillion questions we have fun with, and I've noticed Sky is the most excited of all. He's excited to be an "older brother" for the first time, and have someone who will be looking up to him. I'm glad we're not all agonizing over missing her...not yet, anyway. Our hearts are preparing, opening up and clearing out in so many ways before she gets here. I have a feeling she's going to be a breath of fresh air to us all.

Now I'm off to help Andrew tape his giant, racially correct (brown) rubber ears onto his ears. Oh, the funny things kids do when they're bored!

Dossier Ball Still Rolling

We just received notice from our adoption agency that our dossier looked good, and was shipped out to Washington D.C. yesterday. The State authentications will be authenticated (such redundancy I know), and from there it will be ready for Ethiopia and translation. Yay!

Since we're requesting a girl between 0 and 2 years old we can't help wondering if she's already at Toukoul orphanage, and whether this broader age range means we'll receive a referral sooner. Our homestudy says we're open to 0-3 years of age, and approves us up to 4 years old. Is there a little two year old girl toddling around that we'll get pictures of, or will we be waiting on an infant who may be getting abandoned or discovered at this very moment? So many unknowns to ponder, but we'll have answers very soon. Whatever the case, I send love and blessings to her birth family for the heart wrenching decision they had to make, and pray she's safe, healthy and receiving enough nourishment. I spent a half hour on YouTube this morning watching ETH adoption videos, and I swear the tears were streaming over each little baby girl I saw! I kept wondering "Does Amelie look like her? Or does she look more like that little girl...? Is her nose like this, or is it more like that?" I keep getting impressions of her in my dreams and waking hours, and when I see a girl that looks like those visions I become overwhelmed. We are so very close to seeing her image with our eyes.

Week 1

Today marks 1 week since we submitted our dossier to the adoption agency. In that first week of waiting I have completed installing a chair rail in the whole dining room, painted the wall, purchased a few more clothing items and necessities for Amelie (such as baby shampoo, soaps, and size 2 & 3 dresses), along with a child's vintage wooden rocking chair (the back is a bear's head). Sorin and I have plans to paint the chair together, and she picked out the dresses. I managed to find Sorin's old size 2T sun dress in the basement and I love the idea of Amelie wearing it after all these years.

We had some questions answered regarding travel this week. We're told that it's common for parents to travel alone, and they have total support after arrival in the airport. Daniel would obtain his visa at the airport, meet up with the driver there, and he'd have assistance available throughout his stay. He'd stay on the grounds of Toukoul, which is kind of like a gated community, and included in his lodging fee is laundry, all meals, and babysitting. The babysitting is something Daniel seemed most relieved about because he's very nervous about caring for an infant alone, and wonders if he'll ever get a moment's rest. It's looking like we'll opt for solo travel to save money, and so I can stay behind to manage the kids this time. Andrew and Sky have made so much progress with security and attachment, we don't want to set them back by my sudden absence. I was happy to hear they have AT&T cell phone service in Addis because I plan to call Daniel (the Stork) every half hour!

"It's a Small World" Musical

Andrew had his 2nd Grade Musical Tuesday evening and he gave part of the introduction. He explained that the "Small World" theme was about all the different continents, he listed them, and then sung and played miracas later. We were very proud of him, and Sky was generously giving him many compliments for his performance. The boy to Andrew's left is his friend, Andreas, from Denmark. It's an ESL (English as a Second Language) school, so there are children attending from all over the world.

Check out Sky's new blog post here, and check out Andrew's latest posts here!

Crazy Awe, Zany Meds & Nesting...

What a week already. I can't believe it's only Tuesday.... There is so much going on here.

For some reason I'm still dazed, as if I'm dreaming. After the great referral news from another mom on the phone yesterday, I keep having to pinch myself, wondering if it can be true. She submitted their dossier to the same agency just 6 weeks ago, and received their referral of a beautiful 6 month old baby boy yesterday. Does this mean we'll have ours in 5-6 weeks? We don't know. A family in front of them waited just 5 weeks, but prior to them it has gone as long as ten and twelve weeks. However we look at it, Amelie is getting closer and closer to her forever family and it's very exciting. We even received a letter from USCIS stating that our I600 has been forwarded to the Embassy in Addis Ababa, and they gave us our case number.

On another note entirely, Andrew started ADHD medication over the weekend. We saw very minimal improvements, so we increased it early this morning. After an hour of observing him, he still doesn't appear to be having much response, either positive or negative. Anyone taking that type of stimulant medication surely would have some signs! Maybe the time-release aspect means he needs more than an hour, so we're keeping in touch with the school and hoping to hear some good news about curbed symptoms. The biggest problems with ADHD as a family are the impulsivity and inability to respond to requests in a timely manner. It becomes exhausting correcting him repeatedly, telling him not to do things and having to repeat what he was just told not to do again & again. There is quite literally no "stop sign" in his brain when it comes to point A and point B. This results in so much correcting and scolding that he becomes hopeless about himself, and wonders why he can't "get it" like everyone else. As a family, we become so deeply annoyed with the symptoms that we feel guilty, sorrowful and frustrated. It's a daily struggle, and anyone familiar with ADHD knows what I'm talking about. It's a double edged sword because it's also what makes him so unique, assertive, uninhibited, courageous and creative.

One problem we see is discriminating between when he's being purposefully naughty, and when he's simply impulsive (his brain "running off the road" so to speak). Most of the time it's the latter. His teachers all say that Andrew wants so desperately to do well at school, and that he's probably one of the best intentioned, hardest workers in his class. He always gets an "A" for effort and has a great attitude about learning. We know that if he just had the right medication he could excel in ways that are unimaginable because of how diligent he is. We are crossing our fingers all day...

With the dossier completed and mailed out I have a more freed up schedule and keep finding myself either finishing up old home projects, or starting new ones. Today my dining room will be finished as I paint the new chair rail molding. It really transformed the whole room, and gave us the option of a second color below the railing. The kids love it, and I have a sense of urgency about getting all this done before Amelie gets here. God knows my time will be limited soon!

I may post more later, but for now I have to get to all these projects!

Referrals!

Let's just say our referral of Amelie could really be right around the corner. I was shocked to hear the news of a referral from another parent today who hasn't been waiting very long. I won't say how long yet, but she called and I had goosebumps from head to toe! It's wild because I was watching a video of our orphanage, thinking about Amelie, along with this family and their future child. Our agency director told us both 3-4 months until a referral, but this is apparently not the case after seeing the last few families' referral times.

When I awaken each morning I keep sensing Amelie's little body, her hair and details about her sweet face. Each day she becomes more clearly felt. Soon she will be known.