Snags & Blessings

It turns out our homestudy is complete, however our social worker is still waiting on Sorin's fingerprints. They were redone after ours, so they're late. Until we get those back, the homestudy can't be 'officially done' and used to apply at the immigration office. Oh well, it's a Friday so I'm hoping for good news by early next week. Meanwhile we're zooming through our dossier and have a lot completed for that.

I've been starting to pay close attention to incoming referrals at our agency and have been told they come in waves. There was a dry spell over the holidays, but they are picking up again. I think they had 3 boys referred this week, but won't know for certain until we receive the Friday update this afternoon. Sometimes they come in tidal waves, sometimes all girls, or mostly boys, or both. It's all random and very unpredictable. The most important thing for those on the waiting list is that they're coming so the list gets going. I'm told after the dossier is completed we'll get a number based upon the group we fall in to (those desiring a girl, age 0-3). Initially, we started out requesting a girl, age 0-2, but was told by our coordinator that if we open the range a bit we may have a shorter wait. This doesn't mean our girl will necessarily be older, though... I recall a batch of 4 girl referrals that came in November and they were from 0-2 years old. It's the 'unknown' that can be torture on the heart!

Is she alive now? If she is, is she being cared for, fed well, is she receiving enough touch and is she well? If/when she is ill will she receive proper care and treatment? Without her in my tummy it is an agonizing part of the process that requires complete trust.

I have found out that two families who received referrals had waited 7-8 months on the list, so we're bracing ourselves for a long journey! It's hard, but on one hand it gives us a great deal of time to save money for the last portion of our adoption fees and travel. If we didn't pay for it all in piecemeal we wouldn't be able to do it, so we're grateful for 'time'. We paid the balance on our homestudy with money I earned doing in home childcare. That felt great! There always seems to be more than we need whenever we need it.

Watching little Cecilia every day has been one of the best decisions I have ever made, not only financially, but because I'm noticing my brain shifting and splitting from 4 directions to 5! I need that preparation. When she isn't here on evenings and weekends I notice that I miss her....my mind continues to keep tabs on her even when she's gone, and I have to remind myself she's not in the house. It hasn't been the least bit overwhelming, even when the kids are out of school... if anything, she gives Sky something to do because he LOVES reading to and playing with her. Ceci is one part of this journey that feels very right...her presence in our family has been a huge blessing and I am grateful to her for just 'being' here every day.