Blooming Drew

Yesterday and today were two amazing days with Andrew. I don't know what he's going through, but he's been the most happy and upbeat kid on the planet. On top of that his affections toward me have been so open, sweet and profound that it's been overwhelming at times. He's getting better at verbalizing his feelings. When sitting alone on the sofa he looked into my eyes with that sparkle he has and said "I don't know what to do Mom. I love you so, so much I want to cry about it. It's so much love that it hurts." He buried his head into me and hung on, as if for dear life.

I'm noticing something humorous, too. Whenever he's in time-out or getting scolded, and I walk up in close enough range for us to lock eyes, there is a melting that takes place. All his frustrations fall away and he softens up. He reaches for me and asks to see my eyes again. In that moment everything feels unshaken and almost transcendent. He ends up with a soft smile. It looks like my eyes melt him almost as much as his melt mine. We've had that connection since the first moment we met, and it warms my heart to know it continues to this day.

I'd like to add that he may be feeling so inwardly marvelous and open these days because of some major progress he's had on the soccer field with Dad and Sky. They've been going next door almost daily and Daddy teaches him how to play. He's gotten faster and more agile than Sky at the game and it seems to be boosting his self image. For the first time we're seeing a competitive nature come out...a healthy male aggression that used to be clouded by self loathing and doubt. He's stopping in the middle of playing to tell Daddy how much he loves him. In his free time he keeps lecturing the mantra to himself and others "If I don't love myself, I can never really love anyone else!" He's been working so hard on self acceptance and I think it's paying off. He's so genuinely loving these days that I find myself sad when he goes to bed at night, and can't wait to bask in his love and adoration again the next day.