Ramblings, Updates & Books

I'm finding that I go in and out of being shocked that we were led to Ethiopia of all places. Seriously, we never expected to adopt again, much less from Africa. We are so drawn to India, but to this day I'm amazed we were ever able to complete an adoption from that country! I still look at Andrew in awe of this and consider it a miracle. If we had it our way, we would have three Indian children, but the universe is teaching us a beautiful lesson in embracing the world family and not seeing divisions between races, religions and cultures. It's a very personal perspective I'm sharing, but it overwhelms me to the point of needing to write about it. When I get confused about Ethiopia (like I once was about being led to Guatemala) I go immediately in my mind to some great spiritual teachings about my 'world family'...not to mention how marvelous my Guatemalan child turned out to be; I cannot imagine having brought home any other child at that time. This Ethiopian child will bless us the same way, and I'm sure in some surprising ways that we can't even fathom right now.

We had a minor set back in our home study process and had to go to the police station to redo Sorin's fingerprint card. Apparently she has very oily palms which messed up the first set. I made her go to the bathroom and wash her hands with soap and then had her continuously dry her hands on paper towels while they took the prints. They had to redo all the prints, and then had to redo the thumb again, and placed an extra one on the back of the card just in case. She is a slippery girl! We've requested all the physician letters, but Sorin, Liam and Daniel have to be seen before their letters are completed (they haven't been to the doctor in over a year). Sorin and Liam will go together this Friday, and Daniel will be seen tomorrow. After that we're done with homestudy work! All we'll do is await the social worker visit and proceed to the dossier checklist.

It sounds crazy, but I'm looking forward to the 'waiting' stage so we can let go of all the paperwork. Waiting is hard....agony, I know. I just have a hard time with the organizational aspect of documents, paperwork, etc. It takes everything in me to focus and keep things orderly and I end up with headaches, so worried I'm forgetting something (and usually am). Two people we chose for our reference letters had to redo their notaries. We so appreciated how quickly they got on it for us, but it's little details like those that can drive a creative mind batty!

Speaking of creative, I'm finally working with determination to complete Andrew and Sky's life books. You'd think I would have had them done by now, but my overly perfectionistic ways have had me stumped. I'm putting way too much energy into the drawings and artwork. After seeing several examples of them at the social worker's office I felt ridiculous about all my excessive efforts. I know my kids will appreciate all the thoughtful drawings, but they need the books before they're 25! In both of their books I have their pre-America stories completed. So, moving ahead I can compile pages using computer photo images and type. I'll have their original books in a safe place, and a photocopied version they can look at daily and keep in their rooms. I figure with their sister coming (who will need her own book) I'd better get on the ball with this.

The social worker shared some amazing books with us. They were children's books about adoption, and I never would have thought to purchase them because some are about Russian adoption, Viet Namese, Chinese, and various unrelated countries. She explained that the benefit of children seeing adoptions from countries other than their own that they see children are adopted in many, many countries, not just their own. It's important that they know this. I used to seek Indian adoption books, Guatemalan adoption books, etc. and I was really limiting myself and my kids by doing that! Any and all adoption stories are helpful for our kids, and there are hundreds out there. It was helpful seeing and thumbing through the books our social worker had, and she had piles of them. So far we plan to purchase these:
"A Place in My Heart" by Mary Grossnickle. This is my favorite of all the books she had, about a squirrel family that adopts a chipmunk. It addresses just about every issue and question a child may have about adoption.
"We Wanted You" by Liz Rosenberg. About a dark skinned boy who is adopted
"Mr. Rogers- Let's Talk About It: Adoption" Fred Rogers. This is a sweet book for younger children, and it addresses adoption in a very sensitive thoughtful way. Andrew loves Mr. Rogers!
"When You Were Born in Vietnam" by Therese Bartlett. This is great for any adoptive child, with photos of a real child who lived in an orphanage, and his story of adoption...it's very much like a life book.
"How I Was Adopted" by Joanna Cole. This book has drawings of a pregnant woman and her uterus, and shows the baby growing inside. It's a great visual for kids who are ready to see how they physically came into the world.
"Families" by Susan Kuklin. This is a book of photos showing the diversity of different families, many multiracial.

The last book on the list makes me think of a short conversation I had with Andrew two days ago. He was saying that Sky and Daddy like a lot of the same things, like Chess and sports and football. I pointed out that he is a lot like me and how I was as a child- creative, funny, an artist, always working on a project and very lively. He smiled to know he had a parent with things in common, but he quickly said "But we don't have the same skin, Mom, so how can we really be alike?!" This stumped me because I was speaking internally while he was obviously focused outwardly (like most of our culture). I had to explain that our skin and bodies can look different on the outside, but we are the very same on the inside with feelings, love, thoughts, ideas, etc. I'm finding that I'm having to do this often with my kids- redirecting their thoughts inwardly, away from external appearances. This seems to be one of the great challenges of humanity.