Paperwork Begins

Lots of paperwork is going on today. This beginning, pre-embryonic stage of adoption is tedious. I'm gathering our family's birth certificates, marriage license, tax records, monthly budget list, child abuse clearances, and so, so much more for both the dossier and homestudy. My dining table looks a bit like Daniel's office! It's chaotic, but there is an order to it all. I keep worrying about spills, animals knocking things down, or mischievous children taking pages for scribbling. I'm also going to great lengths to keep our oldest, Sorin, from seeing the papers that mention Ethiopia or adoption in general. All this secrecy is a bit fun (appeals to my trickster side), but it also requires work! We're keeping this adoption under wraps until we feel ready to reveal it in a very special way to our extended family. I'm keeping this blog as a private log for now. I'm so eager to share the news, and will be bursting to tell everyone the moment we see our sweet girl's gorgeous, tiny face. There's something sweet about carrying this secret around in our giddy hearts.

Meanwhile, I have to decide which friends we entrust to write referral letters and keep the news private. It's a difficult decision because some know my family members, and we'll be asking a lot of them to stay mute. It's not like I'm physically pregnant and have the luxury of waiting 6-8 months to say anything-- we need referral letters before we are placed with our child.

I find myself imagining the house and how we want it when "she" arrives. We would like the basement work totally finished (flooring and moulding), our room needs a space for her mini crib, and so much needs to be done to baby proof the house. I'm simplifying over the next few months; clearing out even more unwanted, unnecessary posessions, nesting, organizing, and gearing our lives up to welcome more love and joy. It's all a labor of love that I feel so honored to be a part of in this life. Quietly, Daniel and I call her Ella. Whether this will be the name we choose for her, or if she has a name that already feels right, this is the name we use for now. Ella has many meanings, one is "All" and others are "Goddess", "Beautiful Fairy Woman" and "Torch". We just love the sound of it, but it's a mystery at this point until we see her face.