Paperwork & Fundraising

It's been a week of realizing how much the slowing economy is affecting us. We're currently a single-income family, and Daniel is self-employed. He relies on phone calls from people who have the funds to pay for services. This has finally begun to slow down and we're feeling the pinch. It could be a typical holiday lag, which we have seen in the past, but whatever the case it's probably a blessing because it's gotten us motivated on our fundraising efforts. In just 24 hours I raised over $340.00 selling Andrew's homeschooling materials. I almost fell to my knees in gratitude because it covers a large portion of our next fee to the agency. Every dollar helps immensely!

This morning I placed an offer of childcare services on Craigslist, and hope to have two infants between 0-18 months old in my home on weekdays. This will be a great fundraising activity, and I'll sharpen up my old infant care skills for our little one. I absolutely adore babies and have a good feeling about this. I'll do almost anything to make sure we get this last adoption of ours accomplished, and hopefully have some fun, enriching experiences along the way.

Meanwhile, I'm shipping all the homeschool materials out today with so much gratitude for the sales. And I'm typing out all the dossier paperwork we'll be getting notarized after the holiday. We have to take our oldest, Sorin, to get fingerprinted since she's 17. This is awkward because I honestly don't know how to explain this to her when we're keeping the adoption under wraps until we get a referral. It's tricky, indeed! I've already told her it's for "adoption", and she automatically assumed it was for finalization of Andrew Prasad's....this may work a while, but I fear her discovering too early and spilling to beans to the younger kids. I don't want them going through an agonizing wait that will feel more like an eternity to them. I will be so relieved when we do have the referral and can share the news with everyone in a very special way.

I've thought a great deal about how to break the news. I spoke with other parents and they had great ideas, like placing little invitations to a 'special dinner' in their backpacks, and having pink and brown balloons and a yummy Ethiopian dish served. We'd spill the beans, then and show her photo, and have a memorable night of dancing afterward (one of our favorite family activities). No matter what we decide, it will be quite memorable.

Thoughts & Happenings

Ethiopia's Blue Nile crashing over the lush forest of the Northwest area. (click to enlarge-- beautiful!)

Daniel and I just sent four letters to friends, and one to his mom requesting reference letters for our dossier and homestudy. They have all been asked to keep quiet about our plans until we tell our children. I am not ready for that at this point. #1- Andrew and Sky will discuss it obsessively, repeatedly, and the wait will be more agonizing on them if they're told this early, and #2- Sorin has trouble making these types of huge adjustments in her mind (she already says we have'enough' children). Sorin said we had enough when it was just her and Liam, and she said it again when we added Sky, and again after Andrew entered the fam. On top of that, she has stated many times that she likes being my only 'daughter' in a family of three boys. Her and I have kind of hung closely together in the sea of men these days! By the same token, I think once it settles in to her mind she will be thrilled to be adding a little girl to our family.

We've been struggling to iron out details regarding Daniel's income statement. He's self-employed and absolutely needs to provide some proof of employment. This is difficult when you are your own boss, and the only employee. His accountant will be drawing up a letter with stated income, and projected income and we hope this will suffice. We've been assigned our adoption coordinator who is going to be working with us throughout the entire adoption process. She's been very helpful so far. Their fees are going up in January, but we luckily made the cutoff date by submitting our application earlier. I thank God for this with all the fundraising we already have to do in the next few months. It really is going to be a mountain to climb over the next few months, and I'm racking my brain to devise new ways to raise money. With Andrew back in public school it's my new job!

Meanwhile, Daniel and I have been dropping strange and funny hints around to the younger kids about a 'sister in Africa'. Months ago I started saying for fun that I had a baby in my belly, and named her Virginia (a joke, of course). When we put all the kids to bed, Daniel and I always said, "Oh, we'd better tuck little Virginia in!" We called her Virginia because our Chihuahua, Boomer, was from Virginia and the name was just floating around out there. Sky has enjoyed it, and it's become a playful joke. Last month when I was saying goodnight to Sky he said "Why can't I have a real baby sister, Mommy?" This was asked after Daniel and I had already decided to adopt again, so I was a bit floored. I said, "Hmmm, I don't know. Would you like that?" He insisted he would, and started begging to have her in my belly. Now, we have been saying "Oh, I think Virginia is waiting for us in Africa. She's not in Mommy's tummy, she's in our hearts and she's calling us." Of course, it's still just playful talk....they have no idea that their sister is really coming home one of these days. Daniel made up a song about her to Andrew and he looked so confused...."Who is this African baby, and why is she in Africa anyway?!" I told him babies come from all over the world, in all different ways. I said "Maybe she's calling to us the way you and Sky did. Maybe God wants to bring her home, too. What do you think?" And Drew just scrunches his face, "Are you for real?" I never say "No" because I don't want to lie....I just smile and start tickling him. They both think we're just playing around, but over time the idea of a sister will gel in their minds. Andrew has asked for a baby since the day he came home....we just have to think of a very special way to reveal the secret to all of them.

I'm off to type more documents today!

Paperwork Begins

Lots of paperwork is going on today. This beginning, pre-embryonic stage of adoption is tedious. I'm gathering our family's birth certificates, marriage license, tax records, monthly budget list, child abuse clearances, and so, so much more for both the dossier and homestudy. My dining table looks a bit like Daniel's office! It's chaotic, but there is an order to it all. I keep worrying about spills, animals knocking things down, or mischievous children taking pages for scribbling. I'm also going to great lengths to keep our oldest, Sorin, from seeing the papers that mention Ethiopia or adoption in general. All this secrecy is a bit fun (appeals to my trickster side), but it also requires work! We're keeping this adoption under wraps until we feel ready to reveal it in a very special way to our extended family. I'm keeping this blog as a private log for now. I'm so eager to share the news, and will be bursting to tell everyone the moment we see our sweet girl's gorgeous, tiny face. There's something sweet about carrying this secret around in our giddy hearts.

Meanwhile, I have to decide which friends we entrust to write referral letters and keep the news private. It's a difficult decision because some know my family members, and we'll be asking a lot of them to stay mute. It's not like I'm physically pregnant and have the luxury of waiting 6-8 months to say anything-- we need referral letters before we are placed with our child.

I find myself imagining the house and how we want it when "she" arrives. We would like the basement work totally finished (flooring and moulding), our room needs a space for her mini crib, and so much needs to be done to baby proof the house. I'm simplifying over the next few months; clearing out even more unwanted, unnecessary posessions, nesting, organizing, and gearing our lives up to welcome more love and joy. It's all a labor of love that I feel so honored to be a part of in this life. Quietly, Daniel and I call her Ella. Whether this will be the name we choose for her, or if she has a name that already feels right, this is the name we use for now. Ella has many meanings, one is "All" and others are "Goddess", "Beautiful Fairy Woman" and "Torch". We just love the sound of it, but it's a mystery at this point until we see her face.

Here We Are!

YES. We are adopting our fifth child. Believe me, I am as stumped and bewildered as anyone who may know me. But as wild as we may be, we're even more inspired by the idea of bringing a beautiful Ethiopian child into the mix of our diverse and lively family. This blog is created separately from our main family blog so we can devote specific attention to our 3rd, and likely final adoption journey. For those who don't know, our main blog address is http://www.yogini-christine.blogspot.com/. Here we will record our journey to our daughter, from beginning to the day that we hold her in our arms.

At my age I never imagined I would have another child, and I certainly have my hands full with the four who grace our lives now. For some odd reason, Daniel and I have been toying with the idea of a daughter off and on until finally it became an intense tug at my heart. I am not one of those adoptive moms who has been trying fertility treatments, trying desperately to have a child, in mid-life crisis, or have a hole to fill. I am a devoted, fulfilled woman who feels called to raise these amazing children I have now. They have been my passion, and I surprisingly feel another soul calling me.... Every attempt to supress or eliminate the drive to bring her home only brings it more strongly into view. Unless someone has adopted a child it may be difficult to understand this, but it's a very real, intuitive sense that someone is near you, needing you, somewhere.

Anyway, like another adoptive parent said after adopting a set of three from Russia, then three from Ethiopia, and are awaiting their next three "My life is not my own." She is a stay at home mom, and her husband is a school teacher. They have inspired me to loosen up about numbers, quantities, money worries, etc. and focus upon the quality of my life and what I can do to truly serve and make a difference in whatever ways I feel nudged to. My life really doesn't belong to me, and nothing in this life does. There is always something greater guiding me, and I have never regretted following that little inner voice even though at times I think it's completely nuts (I'm usually wrong about that). I feel so much joy upon waking every day, knowing that I can bring smiles to my children's faces and transmit love that will shine from them long after I'm gone. I'm wildly, madly in love with my life and it just keeps getting better.

As for our process, we received approval from our agency, Children's Hope International, to adopt a female child 0-2 years old from Ethiopia. The next steps involve our homestudy, dossier preparation (lots of paperwork!), and USCIS immigration petition to adopt a foreign orphan. All this will take 2-3 months, then our dossier gets sent over to Ethiopia and we await a referral. This can take 1-6 months, and after acceptance of a referral we travel in 1-2 months. Ethiopia is fairly streamlined in its process, and the fees are less than most countries. We investigated India and hit walls at every turn this time, and Guatemala is still closed to international adoptions. So, here we are!

The most interesting aspect of this process so far has been the timing of our approval date. We received the happy phone call on the very day that the first African American President was voted into office. It was beautifully eerie that day to be so euphoric for Obama, our country, AND our approval to adopt and African little girl. Aaaah, the subtle coincidences that many of us take for granted...